Strikes? The fault of work. Immigration? Blame the lawyers. Don’t blame Boris Johnson | Marine Hyde
gI am glad to hear that Boris Johnson chaired a cabinet meeting on the cost of living crisis this morning, just hours after last night’s lavish Tory fundraiser in which someone paid £37 £000 for a weekend of filming (benefit seekers will be given high visibility jackets and a five-minute head start). Other prizes included a £65,000 African Safari (the same thing, played only in a Kigali hotel) and £120,000 for dinner with Johnson, David Cameron and Theresa May – together. From this last Sartrean prize, a fundraiser a participant told Politico“I suspect this is the kind of thing CCHQ auctions off but never actually happens.” Kind of like most government policies, then.
Johnson himself recovered from nose surgery yesterday morning, with speculative explanations ranging from the things people accuse you of when you’re the kind of guy who tells endless lies to the things people accuse you of when you are the type of guy who tells endless lies. Or to give these the title they deserve: The boy from Geppetto, spotted talking about himself for nine hours in studio 54. Actual medical explanations range from sinus problems to brave sinuses simply dismissing the rest of Johnson’s body, in a lonely and desperately brave protest that has now been brutally stopped by surgery. Their fight should not be forgotten. For now, Johnson’s friends keep saying things like “He’s in King Kong mode,” which sounds like a reality check to say about a guy who looks more and more like the cartoon. an artist from the court of the Honey Monster. Or maybe Darth Sidious with a brie addiction.
Either way, all of this is taking place against the backdrop of the current industrial action by the railway workers, which the government cares almost enough to make the slightest effort to stop. But not quite. It is hard to imagine how the strikers could have engendered a feeling of solidarity among the ministers. Perhaps if one in eight male railroad workers were currently facing sexual misconduct allegations, as about one in eight male MPs do, it would have sparked a kind of game-recognition-game camaraderie. .
As it stands, the RMT says employers have offered them a 2 per cent pay rise with the potential for a 1 per cent increase if they agree to layoffs and changes in working practices, while a government that a few months ago recklessly promised a high-wage economy now casually says of that goal: “I wouldn’t put a deadline on it.” Which means a lot more coming from MPs who recently won a 2.7% pay rise, with Jacob Rees-Mogg leading the successful effort to stop the release of security pass data showing just how frequency they even appear in parliament. Mogg would now even refusing to wear his parliamentary pass, claiming “an absolute and ancient right of access” to the building. In decidedly unrelated news, Boris Johnson has just derided railway workers for “work practices that some date back to the 19th century”.
Downing Street is no doubt hoping this kind of thing will distract from the other thing that has been much talked about here and even abroad: the Friday night Times story about Johnson offering his then-girlfriend (now wife) Carrie a job, as Chief of Staff at the Foreign Office. This was taken from later editions of the Saturday newspaper and online following an appeal from Downing Street. A number of sources have since suggested to various outlets that the story is true, while even the Prime Minister’s spokesman strangely refuses to publicly state on behalf of the country’s main liar that it is not. . Carrie Johnson’s spokesperson opted for a classic denial“It’s an old story that’s as wrong today as it was then.” You will have noticed that this enlightens you about as much as a statement like, “There is the same amount of money in my purse now as there was then.”
Unofficially, Downing Street suggested the story was sexist. Hmmm. There is often an element of sexism in the coverage of the Johnsons, as there is often in the coverage of, say, Meghan and Harry. It is at the heart of some people’s self-delusion about what happened to their golden boy Boris to claim he was captured and turned badly by a woman, instead of being able to act like a dignified immoral, greedy and chaotic – emptying everything on its own. In fact, that’s all he did. It is the event horizon of ethics. Sorry if this seemed confusing to anyone? As Miles the most powerful individual in the couple’s dynamic, it all depends on Johnson – and Johnson alone – whether he seeks to make his girlfriend chief of staff at the Foreign Office, or his now wife. head of communications for a Prince William project, or a COP26 Ambassador. It’s all on the PM if he secretly snatches donors to buy her some gold wallpaper she chose, just like it was all on him when he stepped in to take his infosec guru/girlfriend on three lucrative trade missions with him when he was Mayor of London.
His refusal to take responsibility for all of this, ever, has increasingly created a government in his image – a government that ricochets between shifting blame and cleaning up. Of course, the strikes are Labour’s fault, even though they have been out of power for 12 years. Of course, the lawyers are the reason they don’t have an active immigration policy. Of course, there’s no reason to take responsibility for breaking your own laws – of course, you can’t even be expected to know your own laws. People have spent far too long thinking about what “Johnsonism” is when it’s really quite simple: it’s always, always someone else’s fault. And, by extension, someone else’s problem.